There is no instruction manual for starting a fashion brand. Or, rather, there are millions of them, but none of them seem to agree. I absorbed a lot of them, in the form of blog posts, YouTube videos, and online lessons. Everybody is so eager to share their story, to say what worked for them or for their clients, and help others to navigate the scary world of starting a new fashion brand without making the same rookie mistakes they did. And I appreciated and took comfort in hearing their stories, really. But everybody’s story is different and their goals and desired outcomes are widely diverse, and everybody has a different opinion on how to get started. Eventually, I came to the understanding that there is no right answer, we’re all on our own, and a lot of what happens with the brand depends on luck. So, I decided that maybe I can be one of the lucky few, but I’ll never know if I don’t try.

My husband and I were watching a documentary about Pee-wee Herman last night and something in it really resonated with me. Paul Reubens, the creator and actor who played the role of Pee-wee, had an audition at SNL before the character became really popular. Everybody was so sure he was going to get the job, and even he was so sure he’d get it, but then he didn’t. At first, he said, he thought he’d missed his one big chance and his career would be over soon. But he decided to keep trying with the Pee-wee character anyway, that he’d give himself the opportunity to succeed as an actor, even if it wasn’t going to be handed to him by an already established entity. He built something for himself out of nothing. That’s the part that meant so much to me, because that’s what House of Caswell is for me. I didn’t get the job either, but I’m making one for myself.